Credit: Hans-Peter Gauster. Unsplash
The dichotomy of how I manage time always baffled me. Finding out I’m neuro-diverse helped me to make sense of my processing style. Knowing that I am easily distracted when tasks are boring or repetitive has encouraged me to research better ways to get those tasks done. Because, they need to be done even if I am not thrilled by them. I do not have all the answers, but this new understanding has enabled me to find ways to manage my time.
In my day job, I am mega organised; I achieve a huge amount and I manage and complete a long daily to-do list. When it comes to managing the ‘to-do’ list for myself and home life everything seemed to fall by the wayside. The washing might get divided in whites, lights and dark colours and then they could sit on the bathroom floor for days. It feels embarrassing to share this ‘secret’ because I am an intelligent woman so why couldn’t I manage the household admin?
I used to tell myself that I didn’t like to do it because I was always organising at work. But the reality was I just could not organise the home and keep on top of all the chores. That word says it all. They are chores and therefore they are boring. Boring but necessary. To try combat that I would set myself unrealistic and unachievable task-lists, end up feeling overwhelmed, fail to do them, and then berate myself.
Negative Self-talk
The negative internal narrative starts to gnaw at my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. I can’t do this – eg keep the house tidy, keep on top of the washing. I’m not a good house-keeper because I rarely keep routines going for us and so the list of negative talk goes on. Knowing that this type of work bores me, I seek other more interesting things to do with time. Having this understanding about myself has enabled me to review how to manage my time and the to-do list for home.
The things I have learnt are that I need to set goals and arrange my time around the time I have available, so I prioritise what needs to be done each week. Having a day job, a family, a home to run (with my husband), and a private practice means I need to be well organised to get everything done. If I don’t plan and manage time I find myself drifting. Then it feels like nothing gets done and I fall back into the negative and destructive self-talk. This is by no means the answer to everything and things do slip, but I have the sense that I am getting on top of things and that feels great.
The Way I Manage Time
This is what I do to get tasks done, reduce the chaos in my head and minimise negative self-talk:
- Write everything down
I carry around an A5 wiro-bound note book and a pen. You can use your phone if that works for you. This reduces what you try to hold in your head and reduces the sense of overwhelm. I don’t just mean lists, I mean thoughts and feelings, ideas and annoyances. - Reduce the number of tasks you set yourself for the day
This seems obvious, but its a really important step to take. Yes, keep a to do list. But, have one or two task to do per day - Be realistic – chunk the elephant
If the task is a big one, you need to break it down into smaller task. Remember that it may take a few days to do the whole thing completed - Focus on the important things
When these tasks are dealt with a weight is lifted not only will you feel lighter you will also have a great sense of achievement. Bonus! - Set tasks for specific days
For example, I now wash the whites on a Saturday morning - Avoid becoming hyper-focused
This can be hard because once you get on a roll, you feel invincible and everything else goes by the wayside. Slow down. Check what’s important. - Celebrate
All the wins, big and small
I recently read a book by Joan Wilder’s ‘Helping Women with ADHD‘ and her ideas have helped me to formulate the above.
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